Engagement Encounter

I was going through my office emails when I saw my response to Peiwen's query - "eh share with us what u learnt from the 2 day thingy leh... thinmonkey says its super worth it... but really.. i dont trust what he says lah.."

Tot it will be nice to document it in my blog and then read it again few years from now. So here goes:

"Well, i think it is good chance for couples to think through what marriage really means as we have to answer a list of questions indvidually after each presentation by the experienced couples. After answering the questions individually, each couple will then get together to discuss their answers.

They make u think through things that prob you know but never really discuss with your partner before. Like what if the two of you are of different faith, how are you gonna bring up your children, how are you gonna manage your finance (the experienced couple agreed that the wife should take care of the bills, but then she ended up struggling with it), how are you gonna distribute your household chores (the husband mentioned that his mum is a super good cook so he expected his wife to whip up very good cajun food but then the wife is not a good cook at all. In order to satisfy him, she ended up struggling with the cooking), how are u gonna spend xmas (in our case CNY) after you are married, discuss what are your own priorities and how they match up with those of your fiance (what if one wants children, the other wants to focus on career), etc....

We have more than 10 lists of questions to go through and each list contains at least 6-9 questions. Actually, it is more like a discussion to ensure that the couple are on the same page on things that may seem trivial but may blow out of proportion if not discussed in advance.

It also discussed about what marriage really meant (i.e. not just about living together but about unity). In a way, it prepares you for marriage... Make you focus on marriage rather than the wedding day which people tend to focus more on."